Hannah the Flasher

A good wardrobe malfunction is always hilarious—just think Janet Jackson at the Superbowl–but you know who doesn’t love wardrobe malfunctions?

The people whose wardrobes are doing the malfunctioning.

I was teaching ninth grade the other day, and I happened to be wearing a new dress, one I’d picked up at our spring cleaning clothes swap.

It’s a cute dress, and a couple of the girls had commented about how kawaii I was looking that morning, so I was feeling pretty good.

About twenty minutes into the lesson, though, I could tell something was amiss.

There was way more giggling from the boys than usual, and I caught a couple of smirks passing between them.

I hate when they smirk. It always means bad things for me.

Things came to a head when I leaned over one student’s desk to explain something to him and all the boys behind me started snickering.

I spent the rest of the lesson with my back to the wall and what with the smirking and whispering, and the awkward posture, it was probably the most uncomfortable 50 minutes of my life.

As soon as the lesson was done, I bolted for the bathroom to figure out what was going on.

Turns out the dress is see through.

Yes, that’s right. The boys were so amused because I had been walking around with my black g-string on display for the whole lesson.

It was bad. It was really bad.

I told my supervisor that I was having a ‘minor personal emergency’ and just had to duck home for half an hour.

I thought about changing the dress for an oversized black sack, but then the students would know that I knew that they knew.  It was quite a debate.

Anyway, I got back to school and made it through the day with no further wardrobe malfunctions, though my supervisor did sit down with me to warn me that the ninth grade boys had expressed a certain amount of interest in my undergarments.

The only thing that kept from crawling under some blankets and staying there forever was the reassuring thought that school boys have short memories and this would all have been forgotten by the next time I saw them.

However, it seems that I was being a little optimistic.

The next day Leandi was visiting my school while I visited hers. She was teaching my students “have you ever~” and she was good enough to send me this picture of one student’s worksheet.

So I’m getting under these blankets and I’m not coming out ever.


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